Daddy Issues Part III: No Lube Required/Don’t be a Nice Guy
Men have a million excuses to live fearfully and stay quiet, but the nice guy road the modern mainstream pushes is a dangerous one and huge disservice to women, children, and health of our society
Everything in life is connected. When problems pop up in one place, impacts are felt in seemingly distant and unrelated areas. Judging from the number of advertisements on the subject, Americans apparently need a lot of assistance performing in the bedroom. Clearly, not nearly enough blood appears to be flowing to the right areas.
As always, many look at the problem on the surface level and race to get the latest prescription medicine, but it really shouldn’t be a surprise that this unpleasant side effect of modern life seems to be a growing (perhaps that is the wrong cheeky word to use here) problem. Stress, anxiety, unhappiness, and a need for immediate and easy gratification are certainly going to play a role but we can plunge deeper than that, can’t we?
There is danger around every corner we are constantly told, resulting in many deciding to live a life guided by fear and the avoidance of being bold. Admittedly, trying to understand the interaction of the sexes is a dangerous road to go down, but wouldn’t it be safe to assume that at a deep level, most individuals are seeking a few basic, yet critical things from their partner: to feel protected; to feel respected; and to feel fully supported.
The problem with a pure nice guy is that they can’t be relied on.
Don’t we all want to feel that when push comes to shove, the chips are down, and things get serious, that our partner will defend us in every sense of the word no matter what? That the person we are with will gladly put themselves in harm’s way to protect their significant other? That our partner will fully support our hopes and dreams no matter how outlandish? That our partner will view us as an equal and not someone to diminish or try to control? Not to mention, that our significant other has a zest for life and not only passionately believes in causes, but will fight for those beliefs to come to fruition as best as they can? Don’t we also want to be with a well-rounded partner who can challenge us and provide a more engaging and thrilling life to live?
I don’t have any hard evidence to make this claim, but it seems that the number of people willing to lead brave and passionate lives, as opposed to timid and fear-filled lives has dwindled. Cooperation is all well and good but the number of folks willing to step out from the herd and not only call things out, but take action when things go astray, seems to be declining as well. I am convinced that the increasing need for artificial lubrication is highly correlated with the rapid rise in the modern sedentary lifestyle and everything said sedentary lifestyle represents.
Being attracted to your partner is not just about physical attraction—although important, physical attraction can only keep you tethered for so long. There needs to be a deeper level of connectedness for a couple to withstand the harsh realities of life. Full spiritual and emotional support, combined with open and honest communication can all be natural lubricants that can help overcome a dry spell of any kind.
The old joke is that nice guys finish last. In reality, it is worse than that. Nice guys are dangerous. I have some level of respect for assholes. They at least make themselves obvious to anyone paying attention and you generally know what you are getting when dealing with them and if you don’t, that is on you. You can even count on an asshole to fight for something positive if you are able to frame the issue in a certain strategic way.
The problem with a pure nice guy is that they can’t be relied on: they can’t be relied on to be the strong father and role model their children desperately need them to be; they can’t be relied on to fight for the honor of their significant other; and they certainly can’t be relied on to get in the ring and fight for a more just and better society. Nice guys are not good guys. Nice guys will roll over and allow themselves and people around them to get walked on and accept whatever is happening as something that is out of their control and not worth thinking much about. For the most part, nice guys want to simply follow and do what they are told. Good guys (and gals of course) will stand up for what is right, which often puts them in dangerous circumstances, hated by power groups and people, and isolated. Many good guys get their lives unjustly significantly disrupted in retaliation by negative counterforces, but that is the price that sufficient numbers of individuals need to make in order to ensure the good forces of truth, justice, and dignity survive and to try and ensure a positive life for the next generation. A nice guy knows better, but when push comes to shove, they will stay quiet, as opposed to make waves, and would rather accept whatever comes even if obviously bad things will come if something isn’t done.
Nice guys are not good guys. Nice guys will roll over and allow themselves and people around them to get walked on….for the most part, nice guys want to simply follow and do what they are told. Good guys (and gals of course) will stand up for what is right, which often puts them in dangerous circumstances, hated by many, and isolated.
Now, in the age of social media, we are additionally inundated with fake tough guys (keyboard warriors) who will troll social media all day, which helps cement in place a community’s groupthink, typically centered on the negative, all of which generally breeds inaction.
All of this, of course, is a bit of an oversimplification of characteristics. But the idea is to make a point here. Many people are starting to question the mainstream narrative and are looking to become active participants in new movements and be a part of something meaningful, as things continue to deteriorate around us in terms of our economy/communities, health, and social fabric.
As Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. famously stated, “The ultimate tragedy is not the oppression and cruelty by the bad people but the silence over that by the good people.”
It certainly feels like our society has reached a dangerous fork in the road; it is going to require greater numbers of people rising up and demanding that we take the right path.
Dads and men of all ages have a million excuses to be fearful now-a-days, stay quiet, and go down the nice guy road that the mainstream keeps pushing, but that would be a huge disservice to women, children, and the future of our society. Good guys need to push back against the seemingly endless stream of insecure fake tough guys running around these days. Just do what is needed and is right, but just don’t rely on the pure nice guys for backup.